The Not-So-NC500 - DAY 7

WORD OF THE DAY

Seagull (noun) seabird of the family Laridae in the suborder Lari. Closely related to the Tern, but much more loutish and liable to shit on you from a great height.

Helmsdale > Portmahomack
Emma's Strava Effort

As the light poked through our bedroom window, I opened the curtains to a spectacular view onto the North Sea. Despite the hill being a bugger to get up the day before, the house perched on the hillside had an amazing view that – almost – made up for it.  We were away before 9.30. First task: make it down the hill onto the coast road in one piece. 

With a pretty short and flat day ahead of us, and without a hint of rain, we were happy to take our time and stop off to do some touristy things. About 15 miles in, not far from Golspie, we visited Dunrobin Castle, which overlooks the Moray Firth. It's the most northerly of Scotland's great houses and the largest in the Northern Highlands. On arrival we discovered tickets came to £11 a pop, far too steep for us, so we took some photos out back and were on our way, sadly missing out on the museum, gardens and falconry display which lay within.

Getting a bit peckish, we took a detour into Dornoch. It was a gorgeous, quaint little town with some great coffee shops. We popped into The Courtroom café which, fresh out of coffee cups, served our coffees in a soup bowl. Neither of us were complaining...

Two ‘fun’ facts about Dornoch:

1. It is the last place a ‘witch’ – Janet Horne – was burnt in Scotland; she was tried and condemned to death in 1727. There is a stone, the Witch's Stone, commemorating her death. Sadly, I didn’t see the stone as I would have liked to pay my respects to a fellow enchantress.

2. Madonna had her son Rocco christened in Dornoch Cathedral on the December 21, 2000, the day before her wedding to Guy Ritchie in nearby Skibo Castle. I only travel to places the stars frequent, daahling!

On re-joining the A9 we actually passed within nine miles of Bonar Bridge, where I had had my bike fixed only days before #happy #memories. Spirits were much higher today, I can tell you that much!

From our coffee stop it was more or less flat to our Airbnb for the night, so we pootled along. The A9 took us over the Dornoch Firth Bridge, and despite the still high winds, Hamish insisted we stop and take a photo on it. The whole time riding along the exposed bridge, I imagined being sent flying over the rails and into the Dornoch Firth by the blistering side wind. Once safely across, I could breathe again.

The rains came (we'd missed them!) as we headed east, past the Glenmorangie factory, so we picked up the pace for the final push of the day. Turning a corner on a small country road near Portmahomack, our gorgeous Airbnb came into sight. All of a sudden, I hear a loud bang and a car speeding past screeches to a halt just a few metres in front of us. We approach the vehicle and (helpfully) point out that he not only has one flat tyre, but two. The man simply sits behind the wheel bewildered as his wife bustles out of the car exclaiming: “It wasn’t your fault (we know, hun), we were just trying not to hit you (I mean, thanks) and because we had to swerve around you, we hit a pothole and now have two flat tyres (yeah, well I mean you could have just slowed down and waited a second, numpty).” Anyway, we asked if we could do anything for them or if they needed any help. Slowly looking us up and down, taking in our soaked and dishevelled appearance, she quickly gathered we'd be little to no help and told us not to worry. So off we went, silently hoping they weren’t staying in the same Airbnb as us.

Tarrel Farmhouse was along a bumpy gravel track which was a bit of a pain to navigate, but boy was it worth it! Owner Jennie swept out the front door and took us to a garage around the back for us to safely store our bikes. She then led us into the foyer, not minding our dripping wet gear and muddy shoes on the immaculate cream carpets, quickly checking us in and showing us to our fab room (which Hamish quickly sprinkled with grass from wall to wall).

Hanging our wet gear on every available hook and overhang, we rather ruined the gorgeous ambience they had artfully created in the rooms. The property boasts views of both the Dornoch and Moray Firths. Our room overlooked the former and, to top it off, Jennie had left out some delicious home-made scones. We both indulged in rudely long showers. Once in there, I didn’t want to leave: the shower was bigger than our whole bathroom back in London. When I began to get pruney, I lounged in bed reading for a while, toying with the idea of heading for the sauna across the landing.

Instead, we dressed and hopped on the bikes, heading the three miles to small fishing village of Portmahomack. The rain had stopped, and it was a gorgeously sunny evening. We sniffed out a pub, plonked ourselves on a bench with a lovely sea view and swiftly ordered two pints of Guinness and some crisps. Bliss! Until... a seagull shat on my head. A big seagull and a big old shit. Luckily, it just missed my freshly-washed hair and spattered all down my forehead. Hamish was inside. I quickly hid my embarrassment from other people in the pub, pretending to be on my phone (well, not really pretending, Snapchatting my friends whilst laughing/crying). When Hamish emerged, I sent him packing inside to get me wipes. All the while the stench was growing stronger and making me feel woozy. Wiped down and as clean as I could get (shame, I’d have to get in the shower again… shaaame!), I popped Hamish’s buff on my head to protect myself against further attacks.

Coming to the end of our second pints and thinking we were done for the evening, who showed up but the couple we had left stranded on the side of the road. Turns out it was a hire car, and it was still in the hedgerow. The car was getting recovered the next day and they had got a lift to town where they were staying. We had a bit of a laugh about earlier, both parties saying it wasn’t the other one’s fault (definitely their fault) and we headed off.

Back at the Airbnb and a little wonky after the two pints, we decided to treat ourselves to dinner and a bottle of wine from the honesty bar. Burgers ordered, we walked around the garden with a glass of wine, admiring the allotment where many of their ingredients were grown.

I would 100% recommend adding this gem in to any trip you have planned in the area. 

Thanks for coming exploring with me!
Have you got time for a little more? Click here for the Not-So-NC500 - The last day and beyond

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